My dear old friend Santa,
We have known each other these many years now, and I’m so happy to be writing to you again. I’m literally very long in the tooth. Coming on 45 years old this next year. But I’ve still got a spring in my step, yes by golly I do!
Santa, despite losing a whole lot of teeth this year, I’m doing pretty fine. I get my hot mash twice a day and it keeps my tummy warm. I may be old but I have a good appetite! I’ve been nice to most of the animals, except for the goats who are annoying all the time. My first wish to you is to cast a spell on them so that they all become polite. Would this be possible?
Santa, this is what I’d like for Christmas this year: Our hoof picks seem to be like socks in the washer – they evaporate into thin air. It’s important for me to get my hooves picked out and cleaned regularly and so I wonder if you would send me one or two of these nice picks? Also, my hair seems to be growing out higgledy-piggledy these days. I need to be brushed, but I’d love it if I had a brush just for me – this one is nice because it has both a soft and a coarse side. Perfect!
Now, I just want to say that I’ve always loved kids. I just do. Some people love ’em, some people hate ’em. Me? I’m a lover. And I love the kids who come here to work every weekend. But they’ve been whispering about that they really really really need a new metal barn shovel. They said those poly shovels are always breaking. Well, I like it when they shovel because I personally like to lie down on clean straw, not straw that has goat pellets in it. So uncomfortable and unsanitary!
You know, Santa, I’ve acquired quite a few friends over the years, but I always like to meet new folks. I’d love it if you would send me a sponsor. Maybe that sponsor will come and brush me and make me feel feminine and young again! Yee-haw!
Dee Dee Donkey
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841