Dearest sweetie Santa Claus,
I have been an awfully good girl this year, and I have managed to keep most of the roosters in line, but that Bobby is something awful and does unspeakable things sometimes. He came from that drug raid place so I expect he still has some bad habits from his past. Sigh. I just can’t be everywhere at all times. At any rate, this is what I would like – a big bag of wild birdseed and a wild bird feeder. Why? I will be honest, because I am always telling the truth to everyone: this is not altruistic at all. Those confounded wild birds come every winter and eat up all our chicken food! I think if they have their own spot, maybe they will let us eat in peace. That is my theory. (note: I don’t know a lot of about wild bird feeders, so if you know of a better type you can choose one).
I would also love to be sponsored by someone. I am nice and can be held and petted.
Thank you Santa, for all you do for the animals and all the little children who write to you and believe in you!