This is like my first time writing to you, you know? I’m pretty psyched about it, too. I’m a good, good dog. I look scary but it kinda comes in handy sometimes, you know? Really all I want is a good belly rub and to be told I’m handsome. I came from a pretty bad place (OK, it was seriously bad) and I had to bail from there. I’m way glad to be at this farm and to have a whole flock of sheep and goats and alpacas and chickens and all so I can look after them. It’s just tremendo to have a job and a purpose.
Nicole told me that I could ask you for gifts. Dude, that is so cool. So here goes:
First, I know Mamie asked you for this but I can, like, ask in a nicer way. She’s cute and all but kind of pushy. So, Mamie ate up all of our food bowls. It was really a bummer. That would be the ones I, Sam, Nicole, and the two pigs Hazel and Waldo eat out of. I guess she ate her own food bowl, too but OK, whatever. So we really like need these new bowls that are easier to clean and not so easy for her to eat. I guess we need 2 medium sized and 3 large ones, but whatever you can send to us, Santa, that would be sweet.
We also totally would love some bones to chew on. Keeps our teeth and gums in good shape and it’s really amazing to work on these when we aren’t doing our regular jobs (chasing away foxes and coyotes and bears and wolves and UPS trucks).
So I can’t promise a sponsor that I’ll, like, crawl into their laps and be all gooshy and gooey – I’m not that kind of guy. But if they bring me a few milk bones or other good dog treats I’ll like totally wave and say “hey dude, how’s it going” and that kind of thing. You know? Some of the other animals have sponsors who come and visit and those people, they like seem really happy. So maybe you can make other people happy and have them sponsor ME!
This has been like so fun to write a letter and when you come I won’t bark at your reindeer.
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841