Hey hey hey Santa,
Not sure we’ve met before, Santa, my name is Redd. I want to tell you that I’m a good rooster with an even better story. I’ve done nothing naughty this year. Like, nothing at all. I’m a good citizen and I get along with my fellow roosters and help them out whenever I can. See, I had some hard luck before I landed here. I escaped from a joint in PA and hitched a ride on the undercarriage of a truck all the way to Maryland. That way I didn’t have to pay any highway tolls since I was hidden under the truck. Ended up at a construction site and those guys, well, let’s just say they were not about to let a handsome fella like me hang out with them and make ’em look bad. You should’ve seen ’em – torn t-shirts, big, dangerous looking boots, they hadn’t shaved for days, and one of ’em, he says to me “hey rooster, you look like dinner” and he grabs me and I think I’m a goner until a nice guy with a pony tail says loudly, he says, “NO STOP!”
He took me home and I hung out at his place for a while. The cats were nice and all, but I told him, “listen, you’re a seriously cool dude, but I need some farmland and maybe a few other chickens to hang with.” He said, “no prob, man” and he started to make phone calls. I think he was on the phone for like 3 weeks. It went on and on and his face got sadder and sadder but then he made just the right phone call! And here I am!
So Santa, my best friend is Foxx and my second best friend is Lamont, and the three of us hang out in front with the alpacas. We have a little red barn and sometimes we go there, but mostly just to eat. Thing is – our feeder is kinda old and broken and yucky and we’d really appreciate a new one. Here’s another thing: a lot of us roosters, we kind of look the same. Well, I don’t – my comb is super cool and different from everyone else (it’s called a rose comb). But anyhoo, we need to get some leg bands so that Farmer Anne can track our medical history and weight and do boring statistics and all that.
Also, I’d like a sponsor. It’s cool being sponsored because people come and give me special treats like bits of apple and worms.
Santa, I really appreciate this opportunity to write to you and I hope you’ll come and visit us roosters. Just look for us wherever you see the alpacas.
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841