Dear Santie Claus,
I have been very good this year – well, I am ALWAYS good (Farmer Anne was only joking in those letters she wrote about you in February, April, and October)
I would like a large stack of $20 bills to eat for Christmas, but I’m told that’s a “poor use of funds” and “not to be encouraged”. However, I am always willing to compromise, and I would love a large bag of Black Oil Sunflower Seeds, which help keep my coat shiny and smooth for the ladies. I would also like more premium flake pine shavings for a softer bed in winter. Waldo lets me borrow his bed a lot, but he likes making beds of out of hay and that’s just not the same level of comfort to which I’m accustomed. I would really like for someone to sponsor me, because usually my sponsors like to come and visit me and scratch me right behind the horns. It’s dreamy. Finally, can you arrange for me to receive some fan mail cards? I love getting personal mail!
Mr. Newman Goat
Star Gazing Farm mailing address:
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841