Well son of a biscuit, it is December 3rd. And I am third on the list to talk with Santa?  THIRD? What in the Sam Hill is this bullpucky?  And did you catch those mightly O-ffensive comments that foreign-speaking rabbit made about goats?  What does he know about goats? And that DOG who pushed her way to the front of the line.  They … oh never mind.

Oh oh my dear, oh goodness … aaahem, hello dear Santa, I didn’t realize you were there.  I’m hoping you are feeling so very well today and I do hope we can just have us a little sit down here together.  May I offer you a glass of tea? Let me just call my farmer lady to fetch you some.  How are you Santa?  And the Missus?  Me?  Oh I’m just plain dandy and anyhow Santa, you have known me for YEARS!  You know I’ve been nothing but nice and no kind of naughty.  You heard what?  That I’ve broken into the house numerous times?  Well kiss my grits, that’s pure donkey dust. I have been inVITed in on numerous occasions, thank you very much. And I have been the perfect guest.  I’ll bet you also heard the story of my eating the map of Maryland out of the truck. That old thing? That map was left over from a previous snack. I just cleaned it up.

Santa, I am pretty much the perfect goat.  And don’t I just look pretty on top of a pickup truck? But honestly, could you PLEASE get me a gun rack?  I feel so naked driving a truck without a rack on the back.  No, no, I don’t have any guns, but that don’t mean I can’t have a gun rack, now does it?

You’re what? In a hurry? Oh my, you northerners, there’s just nothing to be done about you.  Very well.  Let’s dispense with the niceties.  Here is my list:

What, leaving so soon Santa? It’s been delightful having this little visit from you and do come again now, you hear?

Sweetly the Abomination, Pygora Goat

Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841