Animal News: The Chronicles of Newman and other Stories
Guard Animals
As some of you may know, Mr. Newman Goat holds court on the front steps of my house most nights. No one may pass by without his express permission.
It's a bit awkward if I need to go out, but otherwise I rather appreciate his presence there. What burglar or other malefactor is going to brave those horns?
What I (and, perhaps, you too) did not know was that I have yet another layer of protection. Should someone get past Monsieur Newman (as did my friend Cindy yesterday), and should dogs be asleep on the job (as they were), there will nonetheless be an alarming surprise in store for those who enter without knocking: an Attack Rooster.
I was gently dozing in my office - no better place for it - and heard something truly terrible at the other end of the house. I heard female screams and then some inhuman screams, and then more female screams.
Instantly awake and running, I bumped into Cindy whose hair appeard to be somewhere between her head and the ceiling, and who was hyperventilating as she grabbed me. I don't remember her exact words but they were approximately, "My God! Save me from that bird".
Although some of you may see some disadvantages to living in such intimacy with farm animals, there are distinct advantages: for one, my friends will never be able to burgle my house.
Until next time,
Farmer Anne
Star Gazing Farm
http://www.stargazingfarm.org
© 2004 Star Gazing Farm, All Rights Reserved
May not be reproduced without permission.
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