Animal News: The Chronicles of Newman and other Stories
Newman as Bad Boy Archetype
18 October, 2004
A year or two ago a female visitor to the farm said candidly, "I love Newman so much because he's just such a bad boy."
Ever since then I have wondered about his magnetic appeal, particularly for women. The funny thing is, that although in so many respects he resembles the cigarette smoking, gin-drinking, motorcycle-riding, getting-in-fights bad boy that mother never wants her girl to go out with.... the mothers love him too!
What some women have said about Newman:
"He's just SO ADORABLE. I just love him."
"What a playboy."
"Newman, you are one handsome devil."
"Such sex appeal. I never imagined."
But it's not just girls. At our open house yesterday a young boy who had made Newman's acquaintance over a year ago and has since sent him correspondence (yes, the Boyds post office is used to delivering mail for my goat) arrived saying: "Take me to Mr. Newman."
Men who are new to the farm inevitably get drawn into a game of push (where they grab onto Newman's horns, and Newman pushes while they try not to embarass themselves). Newman does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, without fear of consequence. I imagine this is quite attractive to many men.
What I need to convey, however, is that Newman really IS a bad boy. Last week I was taking Dee Dee Donkey's dinner to her, and he assaulted me, whipping his head around and sticking his horn in my groin, then angrily backing up and slamming me against the fence (it hurt, by the way). Later, behind safety of a gate, I fed Dee Dee over the fence, and Newman reared up in front of me and dumped all of the feed down my shirt. I do recall a boy in college who once poured a bowl of grape jelly over my head (I just knew it meant he "liked" me) so it's not inconceivable that this behavior is not born of affection. And certainly, an hour from any such incident Newman will inevitably reach up with his sweet nose and goat breath and kiss my face. Who can resist?
What's really nice to know is that this fatal attraction to bad boys is universal. You may not bear the bruises that come from harbouring a caprine terrorist, but if you've met Newman, you know what bad boy love is, and it'll hook ya!
Until next time,
Farmer Anne
Star Gazing Farm
http://www.stargazingfarm.org
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