Animal News: The Chronicles of Newman and other Stories
Newman Pegs a City Slicker
14 November, 2004
I suspect that by now most of you know about Newman’s car habit. Some of you have even had Newman in your own car. He is truly clever at this B&E stuff, though, because his break-ins are unpredictable. If only we could determine if the element of attraction is a certain make or model, color, height of the vehicle, but Newman’s taste in cars is, to put it simply, fickle.
Today’s victim was a visitor from the District of Columbia. A city slicker, for sure. I know this because she had DC tags. Newman knew that too (he’s already proven his reading ability many times – signing for the UPS packages, removing selected bumperstickers from my truck, and so on and so forth). One wonders if he found it a challenge to work up a *city* car.
He started his plan of attack with the first and favorite entry point, the door handle. According to Gardener Dean who witnessed all this, the visitor was visibly upset that a goat would be trying to enter her car without invitation. One assumes that she locked the door. Because not being able to get IN the car, Newman then got ON the car.
I’m not entirely sure what transpired after this; I only know that she became distraught, drove most of the way down the driveway, got out of the gate, and for some inexplicable reason, veered off the driveway, towards my fence, and right into the drainage ditch.
Simultaneously my truck got stuck in the mud while trying to get up to the barn to unload hay. My very genteel French neighbors had come over to help unload and the plan was to head right back to get hay for their very genteel sheep and very petite, genteel goats. Unfortunately Newman, whose interest in cars had by now waned, made his way over to my truck which was full of new hay being unloaded, where he supervised from the roof. I’m not sure that that is considered genteel behavior in France.
To summarize a very long hour, both truck and DC car had to be hauled out by friends’ and neighbors’ shoulders, the whole while exceedingly polite farmer neighbors worrying that the hay supplier would up and leave on us if we didn’t hurry it up. We did get both vehicles freed with only a slight contretemps when the DC car fell on the DC girl’s toe.
Till next time (and if anyone wants to help haul hay, I still need 100 bales put up in the loft – you are guaranteed to have a good time, more or less),
Farmer Anne
Star Gazing Farm
http://www.stargazingfarm.org
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