Star Gazing Farm, Maryland: The Chronicles of Newman Jun. 3, 2004

Animal News: The Chronicles of Newman and other Stories

Go shopping today, funny stuff, and quotes from other people

I could be wrong - I often am - but it seems to me that a lot of people enjoy hearing about the four legged and winged residents at Star Gazing Farm. We try to keep a light take on things, but the fact of the matter is that the sisters, cousins, and aunts of our dear friends Newman, Kramer, George, WC, and Tetsuro are right this moment being trussed up and prepared for someone's dinner table. It's an ugly process, especially for those who won't be sitting around the table but rather on top of it. So... I just need to ask: where are you going to shop today? How about Whole Foods? (No, I'm sorry, Newman will not be out front greeting you). They have a very cool program going on today and it would be even cooler for Star Gazing Farm fans to support it.

FIRST QUOTE:
This is from a local grassroots organization that promotes the rights of animals - they've done a lot of research into the local chicken and egg operations, and this is what they say about shopping at Whole Foods today:

"Whole Foods Market is in the process of creating the most stringent guidelines for farmed animal welfare in the world. Developed with the help of several animal protection organizations, including PETA, Animal Rights International, Viva USA, and HSUS, these guidelines will not permit battery cages, veal or gestation crates; will mandate outdoor access; and will address a number of other common causes of animal suffering in the meat, egg, and dairy industries. Whole Foods Market will donate 5 percent of its global sales this Tuesday, January 25th, as seed money to establish its new Animal Compassion Foundation."
(http://www.cok.net/feat/alert0125.php)

OK, we can't stay sorry, sad, serious, and sermonizing for long.

Whether you realize it or not, Star Gazing Farm is small, upstart operation with a goat sitting at the helm. There are, however, some well established and amazing (and far more knowledgeable) animal sanctuaries near us, who often give us extremely valuable advice or at least help us laugh at the daily catastrophes. Most recently I received condolences and advice from Kathy at Days End Farm Horse Rescue (http://www.defhr.org/) for the water hydrant problems (Yes, it's frozen up. It was not installed correctly.
After all that.). And I got an outpouring of sympathy from Terry at Poplar Spring Animal Sanctuary (http://www.animalsanctuary.org/) for the grave difficulties and hazards to one's person when feeding any animals if goats are present. It really does help to know that being assaulted by hooved beasts is not my personal problem.

And speaking of personal problems, who are all these people who feel the need to unload their animals.... and to call me to discuss it, at great length -- makes even a hardened goat wrestler stutter. Now, I can think of a few animals I would not mind unloading on an unsuspecting farmer, but we won't go into that here. The point is, people acquire live beings who then become inconvenient (why does the word "Newman" keep popping into my head), and they think it would be peachy to let them "live out their days" on a farm. Well, sir, I'd like to live out my days on a farm too, but if recent history is any indication, my "living out" means carrying heavy water buckets outside 4-5 times a day and being followed around by anxious, cold animals while my nose freezes off. Just one question here: why does everyone think that I need a barn cat or 12? "Oh it's a farm, let's bring our problem cats over there". This past week there was the lady who wanted to bring me a horse who was described as "temperamental, because she is West Virginia inbred - but she's really very nice once you get to know her". I suppose the offer that took the cake was the girl who wanted to give me a bull. But that is another story.

What I really wanted to talk about was the sheep who cloned itself. I agreed to take on a miniature sheep in consideration of a local city man's love for him and his imminent future as lamb sausage if he didn't get placement in a permanent home. Extensive complicated arrangements ensued with no fewer than 2 dozen phone calls to all the parties involved (multiple vets, the current owner, the past owner, me, Terry at Poplar Spring, and probably the guy at the 7/11, too). The sheep has not yet arrived, but suddenly this sheep has a best friend who looks EXACTLY like him and HAS to come with him. I don't know why 2 horned, recently castrated, male sheep seem like so much more to handle than one (anyone want to take some guesses), but I felt suddenly like a sucker. So I called on Richard at Mini Pigs Sanctuary (http://www.minipigs.org/) for solace, who wrote me the
following:

SECOND QUOTE:

"Oh yes....extra animals always seem to be part and parcel of every deal. Either that or the animal grows exponentially in size between the time we agree to take it and the time it arrives here. Or, it mysteriously becomes pregnant....obviously via immaculate conception... which is apparently quite routine in the pig world. Or they mysteriously change sex...another common pig miracle....and the timid little girl becomes a 300 pound, testosterone driven wild boar en route to the sanctuary from their former home.

They can even change species during their trip (pigs are amazing animals). They have been known to leave their former homes as potbellies and arrive here as half grown farm pigs and while en route give birth to two full sized goats...."

___________________

Finally some thanks to the amazing volunteers who come out and do hard work in the cold!

To Annika for grooming Bello and Dee Dee and making them feel so wonderful To Bob for helping me haul 3000 pounds of hay To Angela for helping catch sheep and treat hoof problems

Remember, volunteers are welcome to come out and help, learn about the animals, freeze their hands, and get butted every Saturday from 9 to 1. At least the coffee's good here.

Until next time,

Farmer Anne
Star Gazing Farm
http://www.stargazingfarm.org

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