Mr. Newman Goat

What happens when you let goats take over your porch…

Alpine wether
Born approximately February, 2001
Weight approx. 170 pounds

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On a cold day in March, 2002, Newman walked up the long, long hilly driveway of a friend’s horse farm just down the road. They happened to have company at the time, and despite his cute face, the lady wouldn’t even get out of the car (kinda cool having horns like that). They don’t have a barn, and the electric tape fence used for the horses didn’t begin to keep Newman safe or contained. So…. they called me. And I said, sure, I have a barn, bring him over. No one claimed him at the animal shelter; the first few days he was so cute and nice I hoped no one would. And then, just as it was determined that he was “mine”, unaltered male goat that he was, all hell broke loose. Doors busted, rails on deck demolished, visitors terrorized. He held people hostage on TOP of their cars and tried to bust many kneecaps. He was onlly 75 pounds at the time (and he has more than doubled in size since then!)
And so it all began. The slow and steady taking over of my farm. Newman is indisputably the boss. He decides who eats what and when, and from his round belly you can tell he takes the choicest pieces of hay, flowers, and wood off the house for himself. If Newman is anywhere in sight I cannot unload groceries from the car. Some months back he decided that the barn wasn’t big enough for him, and bashed some holes in the screened in porch – one for him and one for Rosie, his female goat companion. His and hers goat doors.

Well, stories of Newman have travelled not only the DC area but far away, to other states. This year Newman received a valentine in the US mail from a secret admirer 500 miles away. He is handsome, charming, terrible: everyone’s quintessential bad boy and you’ve gotta love him! And when he lays his soft head against my cheek, or leans up to give a kiss, all the destruction is, momentarily, forgiven.

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For more of Mr. Newman, visit his Hall of Shame.