Farm Stories (or, "The Chronicles of Newman")

The Cow Party


cows-sqIn these times of long, long political discussions, campaigning and elections, post-elections campaigning, protests, post-mortem essays, and all the rest — I offer you a tale about cows. Yes, cows. “Really? The country is in a state of immense change and she wants to talk about bovines???” Read on, my fellow Americans, if you wish to be enlightened. [read more]

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Bald Spots


Read the latest from the Chronicles of Newman!

sully-sq-fp“Sullivan the dog also has a comb-over of sorts.  One doesn’t often see bald dogs, especially in the lab family.  The other day a young volunteer at the farm made a remark about his naked bum.  I, now learned in the ways of hair loss, jumped to his defense. “Oh, it used to be much worse,” I said. ”  [read more]

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Vivent les différences!


Of late I have noticed a great brouhaha in the news about who can use what bathroom and under what circumstance. I’ve been frankly stymied at the vast array of options and decision points that one must consider before being allowed to pee.  This is not something that troubles our animals here on the farm.  Oddly enough, the fact that they are bothered by neither modesty nor convention always agitates the youngest visitors at the farm: “Ewww, he’s pooping!”   (This statement is often accompanies by a little foot-stomping and face squinting).

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Bullies, Thugs and Greedy-gums


Growing up as an only child, I did not have the benefit of duking-it-out sessions with bratty little brothers.  I ascribe my utterly senseless attraction to goats to this lack. Now, I remember one very vivid episode from my youth …

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That’s Gross


I remember quite well when the term “gross” (meaning disgusting, revolting, embarrassing, unattractive, and just plain not nice) came into being, at least in my neck of the world – it was middle school, a time when, actually, gross probably …

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