Farm Stories (or, "The Chronicles of Newman")

Doubting Thomases


Gruff and BubbaNewest farm story!  The other day one of our volunteers was being mobbed by an unruly group of large ruminants. A few bystanders were trying to help her get into her truck without incident.  We were all having a great deal of trouble.  Well — upon further investigation, we found she had made the grave mistake of keeping cookies in her pockets.  COOKIES: no wonder.  She hurriedly and perhaps somewhat desperately tossed the cookies over the hood of the truck to me, took off down the driveway, and I, literally left holding the bag, made a beeline for the front door, buffeted from side to side by goat bodies, just barely making it to safety while still keeping my shoes on. [read more]

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Shall We Dance?


The latest farm story!

Dancing horsesA fellow farmer friend once told me that she often dreads going out in the morning.

Too often barely fortified by half a cup of coffee and frequently still in pajamas, we warily wander through the fields and into the barns. We are not admiring the view. We are not enjoying the morning air. We are not communing with nature. We are not petting cute, fuzzy animals. No.

We are looking for bodies. [read more]

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Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition


I grew up in the city. I don’t even know if guns were allowed in my state, but I do remember when I was about 9, my mother’s doctor was shot on the street by a gunman trying to steal …

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Inadvertent Housekeeping


It’s not too hard to figure out that it’s easier to keep an apartment nice and tidy than it is a farmhouse.  I used to have an apartment.  Now I have a farmhouse.  We could end the story right here, …

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The Persistent Pile. A farm story.


My dog Sullivan is a big black lab mixed with something.  He’s a good dog but he has a few problems; mostly, he’s old.  There seems to be a lot of that going around these days.  And being old, he doesn’t always get a lot of warning when he has to poop.  A few weeks ago he made it just outside the dog door and pooped on the welcome mat.  Then it rained.   [read full story]

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