8 January, 2008
From time to time people have tried to give Mr. Newman a middle initial. Not a middle name, just a middle initial. We had Mr. Newman T. Goat (T being for the compost tea we were thinking about marketing). Mr. Newman P. Goat (you can guess what the P stands for). Somehow nothing has really stuck. So for years it’s been just “Mr. Newman Goat”. I would now like to amend this to Mr. Newman I. Goat. I=”I’ll try anything once.” MORE »
29 November, 2007
Some years ago I saw a survey posted on the Internet about how many animals people slept with; the results were both surprising and heartening. There are actually people out there with more beasts in their bed than me! MORE »
18 October, 2007
When I was a child, every Christmas I would ask Santa for “100 kittens”, which my parents mercifully never considered. I certainly never guessed that instead of 100 felines I would someday acquire two 1800 pound bovine equivalents. Complete with horns. MORE »
5 August, 2007
Those of us who care for animals in our “free time” (e.g. we haven’t gotten a degree nor do we have an office with a title that certifies us to do official things with animals) often get labels slapped on us like: “a bit nutty”, “just a dog person”, crazy cat lady”, “softie”, “sucker”. Yet despite our patent lack of qualifications, it’s assumed that any animal problem that arises is something that we will not only know how to deal with but WANT to deal with. I’ve had people show up at my front gate with baby fawns with the excuse “well, you ‘do’ animals, don’t you?” MORE »
1 August, 2007
For those of you who have met Mr. Newman Goat — and for those of you who have not, but wish you had — you will know that of course he is a “car guy”. Very early in his stay here at Star Gazing Farm he taught himself how to open up my truck doors with his mouth, aided by his nose and horns (it’s actually about a 5 step process which tells you something about his IQ not to mention his persistence). What might not be known is that goats have an incredibly strong sense of smell, and Mr. Newman is no exception. That is to say, should one be carrying a box of Dunkin Donuts in the cab of the truck, a goat might get wind of them. MORE »
13 July, 2007
I found this on my computer today after having been gone a long number of hours. I cannot take responsibility for the content or the traumatic effect it may have on you or your children.
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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Goats
By Mr. Newman Goat
Chief Architectect and Demolition Expert, Star Gazing Farm
1. Don’t be shy. Never. I mean, not ever. Shy does not exist in our vocabulary. A reticent goat is a sheep. MORE »
13 June, 2007
I never thought I’d come to say these words, but Mr. Newman Goat has actually done the farm a favor … in a very backhanded goat-ish sort of way. After the back porch demolition derby, he has been working for some time now on chewing off bits and pieces of the house - the wood frames to the windows on the office and the wood siding on the older part of the house. The vinyl siding enrages him (neither chewable nor tasty) and so he has taken simply to head-butting the wall every day for about 15 minutes to keep his neck muscles in shape. MORE »
1 May, 2007
Last Sunday we sheared our sheep here at Star Gazing Farm. Among attendees was young Sebastian, a long time friend of Mr. Newman, whom I introduced to the other visitors as “knowing many of Mr. Newman’s secrets”. Honestly, the only secret I was thinking of was the incident when his mom brought us some black eyed susans which Newman proceeded to eat, but I thought it would make this young Mr. Newman fan feel special to know he “had something” on our renegade goat.
The thing is, it appears that Mr. Newman has more secrets than I imagined. It’s worse than having a cheating husband - everyone else is the first to know. MORE »
4 February, 2007
This is a story about a bird. Bird stories must ordinarily be epic, full of bloody battles, terrible losses, great loves, and equal parts of joy and tears. This has all that, too, but never fear, it also has a happy ending.
Tarzan the Tree Rooster was living in Takoma Park. He was fed every day by a man who also fed the feral cats. Being an opportunist and not in the least stupid, Tarzan got down there right with the cats and chowed down. He hung out in the local playground, claiming the little castle as his own domain. Every evening he’d look both ways, cross the road, and hop up into his tree for the night. Life was not bad, all things considered. Then two other roosters horned in on the act, and the inevitable happened: someone got annoyed and called animal control. MORE »
20 December, 2006
Fans of Mr. Newman Goat may have been perturbed these last months not to hear any news of his doings. Frankly, we’ve been perturbed too. Who would imagine that it would be worrisome to not have this big guy trying to bust down, pillage, and destroy various structures on the farm, but it is so. In fact, the only remotely Newman-ish behavior we’ve observed is his consistent usage of the round hay bale feeder for his bed (rendering the 1,000 bale of hay both intimidating to those smaller than him, and a tad inedible to those who brave his majestic presence on top of the heap).
The truth is, Mr. Newman has lost some status on the farm. MORE »
If all the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts also happens to the man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth.
— Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Tribe