2020 Letters to Santa

See the master list of what the animals have asked for (and received) so far this season.

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Ruth

December 1, 2020

Dear Santa Claus,

My name is Ruth.  I was named after a very famous and intelligent lady.  Oh now, you know who I mean! I hope to do her name proud.  I am, in fact, a very intelligent rabbit.  However I fell on hard times just a little while ago.  I found myself out on the street with nowhere to go.  Most peculiar.  You don’t often see white rabbits taking walks, especially by themselves.  Well wouldn’t you know it, someone came along and said, “Ruth! What are you doing out here?  Let me get you to a good place.”  That was indeed very fortunate.

This is my very first letter ever to you, Santa, but the other bunnies told me all about how this goes and that I can ask you for anything at all, my heart’s desire!  Please send me a boyfriend.  OK, never mind that for now; boyfriends are too much trouble and I’m doing just fine on my own, thank you very much.

Let’s start simple: I love love love these treats.  They are called slims but let me tell you, they are not slimming.  False advertising, if you ask me.  But still – they are so delicious.  In fact, everyone in here in the bunny room loves them. You could send more than one packet. We eat them pretty fast.

Next, I don’t mean to complain, but come on folks – the litter boxes they have here have been chewed on.  By other rabbits.  Eww.  And they are all square – no imagination at all was put into designing those boxes.   I’d like this elegant corner box so I can do my business and then have more space in my condo.

Now, I’ll tell you what I really want (besides a boyfriend – maybe) but it’s a project.  I’d like to be able to run and play outside in the grass.  But they tell me it has to be very secure.  Maybe they even need to make a hole in the side of the house.  And then build something so the hawks can’t get me.  I’m going to think about the architectural plans and I’ll send them on under separate cover.  That would be most efficient, wouldn’t you agree?

Finally,  I have never been sponsored since I’m so new here.  It would be lovely to have a sponsor all to myself.

Santa, don’t forget to wear your mask – those elves can’t be trusted not to go to parties behind your back, don’t you know?   Thank you for reading my letter!

With deepest respect,

Ruth the Rabbit

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Ernie

December 2, 2020

Hey ho Santa,

Ernie here to get you up to speed on goings on here at the farm.  I’m doing great, and there is a new goat in town named Falkor. He can fly!  He’s so baaad and we love him (mostly).  Leo’s gotten a little fat (shhh) and Jenny is still with us at 15, but retired now to the old folks paddock.

Now let’s talk business! I need a new collar.  Mine is looking tired and old and it’s lost its shape and, well, um, it smells bad.   I’m kinda into the supporting the little guy thing this year, and I found a fine shop that sells these single-layer bamboo collars – bamboo is really comfortable for us goats.  We don’t like that fake polyester stuff.  Bamboo is also tasty to eat, but that is another story for another day.  I’ll let you choose the color, but I need a size Large.

Santa, I’m going to tell you something you can’t pass on to anyone. Ok?  So some of the guys on the farm, they think that they can just mess with anything they feel like.  No boundaries, you got me? So they jump on things and chew on whatever they might find.  Me, I’m pretty particular about eating a healthy diet. But so here’s the deal:  someone, or maybe a few someones (and I ain’t naming names) have made a project of the tractor seat.  So this is what happens:  a human hops on the tractor to drive it, maybe to bring us some hay, maybe to move manure around, maybe just for fun, and suddenly they shout something I can’t repeat here and their bum is all soaking wet.  Why?  Because SOMEONE chewed on the seat so that the foam padding is exposed.  It’s pretty bad.  Kinda like a nylon that has a run in it – once you start … not that I know anything about nylons.  So yeah, when it rains, the humans get loud about their wet bums.   So we need a new seat.  (To the humans:  you’re welcome.)  Oh, hey, if you plan to bring us one, make sure to let us know since we can only use one seat.

Look here, I ain’t gonna ask for no treats this time.  Not speaking for myself here, but some of us goats have kind of a weight problem.  But if you want to bring us something fresh like apples or lettuce or kale, that’d be cool.

Hey, you KNOW I just love sponsors.  They come and brush me and let me rub my head all over their nice clothes (sign of goatly luv).  I’m so friendly I could go for a car ride with them and I wouldn’t even chew on the seats.  So that about wraps it up.  Say hey ho to the reindeer for me.

Ciao,

Ernie

 

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Dear Santa,

My name is George.  I found my path to happiness through the officers at the Prince Georges County Animal Shelter who called Star Gazing Farm and said “hey, we have this fabulous pig here.  You need to come on over!”

As you can see, I have a funny face.  My tongue never really goes back into my mouth and my teeth stick out.  I’m a shy gentleman of a pig, and all these qualities combined made Farmer Anne declare, “George, you really need to come home with me!”

I was pretty badly mistreated before, so you have to be really still and gentle if you want to scratch my belly. I am learning to trust people though, little by little.  You know, I’m a pig so I love to eat!  Well, guess what – at this farm the pigs and dogs get their food cooked up fresh.  In a pot.  On the stove.  In the house.  What do you think about that!?  They use fresh ingredients, and so we always need those (George’s Favorite Stew recipe is below).  But we can also use canned goods – my absolute favorite is pumpkin.  I just love pumpkin – fresh pumpkin, frozen pumpkin, whole and sliced pumpkin, and canned pumpkin.  It’s easy to eat because it’s pureed and soft.  I did some research because I’m a little bit nerdy that way, and this one seems to be the best deal: https://tinyurl.com/pumpkin-for-george but this one also is not too bad price-wise:  https://tinyurl.com/pumpkin-for-george-2

There are two supplements that would be good for me and my friends Hazel and Waldo:  the first has Vitamin B and helps with nervousness (and I am still sometimes a bit nervous):  https://healthypigs.com/product/pig-b-calm/  The second is for our skin.  Just like people, our skin tends to get dry in the winter time and this powder can help!  https://tinyurl.com/skin-supplement-for-george

Now, Santa, there is just one more thing: we pigs don’t really care much if we drink water out of a fresh bowl or a mud puddle (sad, but true). But in wintertime it’s especially important for us to drink and so sometimes we just tip over the bigger buckets.  That makes a mess and if it’s cold it turns to ice, and then the humans say bad words and the sheep roll their eyes at us. If we had a few non-tip bowls just for us piggies I think everyone would get along better.  I think this one would work (96 oz sounds right to my calculations): https://tinyurl.com/dog-bowl-for-george

But this one would be also so handy when the weather is cold: https://tinyurl.com/heated-dog-bowl-for-george

Finally, there is the matter of a sponsorship.  This is a new concept to me. It means that someone can pay a bit of money to help with my food and care, and they get a primo glossy photo of me plus my biography PLUS a real certificate of sponsorship, PLUS they can come and see me some time.

I’m so glad I got the opportunity to write you – in my many years on earth, I never was even told there was a Santa.  How nice to know that there is and that you actually read our letters.  http://www.stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

My best regards,

George

GEORGE’S FAVORITE STEW

Wash and slice the following:

5-6 large sweet potatoes
zucchini or any kind of squash
1/4 pumpkin
3 beets

Cook these in boiling water for about 30-40 minutes.

Add in: peas and green beans (fresh, frozen, or last choice – canned)
A nice pasta: my favorite is Orzo, but the little macaroni pasta is ok, or barley (good for wintertime)

Cook for another 15 minutes and let cool before serving.

Makes approximately 15 servings.

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Mamie

My dear, dear Santa!

How how how are you?  Oh my goodness, I’ve been such a busy dog this year.  I’m what you call a “perpetual motion dog”.  I was slowed down but only for a little while when I had surgery.  They took a big nasty thing out of my liver.  I woke up and said, “OK now, let’s go!”  I was very disappointed that I had to have a ‘rest time’.  Who needs rest when there is life to live and chickens to be chased!

On a serious note, Santa, sometimes I think and worry about my little babies, all those babies they made me have in the cage, over and over.  I dont’ know where any of them live now.  I loved them and was such a good mama – then they took them away from me and made me go and have more babies all over again.  I don’t have babies anymore.  Now I try to lick everyone just like I did my pupppies and am surprised when they say, “Mamie, no licks!”  No is not in my vocabulary.  And licking is life!

Which brings me to my duty, as a loving dog, to ask for a few presents that will help my own mama not lose her mind. Here is the first one:  We need a new trash can.   Our kitchen is small, so we need a narrow one.  You see, I am sooo attracted to the trash.  (You could maybe compare this to people who have to hide the chocolates so that someone in the house doesn’t eat them all …. I am a very self aware dog.)  If I think there might be anything at all that is useful to a dog like me, I spill the whole thing and go through it very thoroughly.  This one would fit and I’m pretty sure it would be Mamie-proof.   https://tinyurl.com/trash-can-for-mamie

If I can brag just a bit, I’m really smart.  I’ve already applied to DoggieMensa.  I have figured out all but one of the baby gates that prevent me from going into rooms I’m not supposed to be in.  So my next gift is one I don’t want, but my mum said we have to have.  And I really want to please my mum.  She has one on her office door and by golly, I think it might be dog-proof.  So we kind of need two of them. https://tinyurl.com/baby-gate-for-mamie

Sigh.  It’s so hard trying to be good.  OK, since I’m doing true confessions of a Cattle Dog here, I need to tell you that I just hate it when anyone talks on the phone.  I start to yip and yell and scream and then I tip over the trash, and then I run into the rooms with the doggie gates I can open, and generally I make such a ruckus that they finally get off the phone.  Told you, I’m smart.  There is only ONE thing that will stop me – and that’s a truly fine bone. I love this kind:  it’s huge and takes me a really long time to work on it.  https://tinyurl.com/big-bone-for-mamie  Sometimes I haul my bones up into my mum’s bed.  She said she isn’t really impressed with that.  I’ll try really hard to not do that if you send me one!  I will try!

Santa, I would love a sponsor, too.  I’m really cute and once you get to know me, you just want to spend all your time with me.  I’ll be so nice to my sponsor.  I will!  http://www.stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Got to run now, lots of things to do on this farm!

Bye bye,

Mamie

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Bubba

Kind sir,

Lt. Bubba Skinner at your service.  I don’t believe I’ve made your acquaintance before, but I’m mighty pleased to do so now.

Let me just say that on the whole this is quite a satisfactory place for me to have ended up.  I came from t’other side of the county, and I do not believe that my fate was going to be a happy one, to put it mildly.  I was a young fella and something on the wild side, if you know what I mean.  So when I heard folks talking about roasted lamb I jumped the fence and ran, and just kept on running.  It’s no small miracle that anyone ever caught me, but caught me they did and brought me to safety.

I’m no longer wild, but when it’s supper time I do make a good run for it – I still have the old spunk at least when it comes to chow!

Now, it’s not in my nature to go asking folks for favors.  You see, I’m a gentleman and don’t want to go putting anyone out for anything.  But I was told it would be impolite of me to not send you some gentle suggestions.  Naturally, I will make sure that this benefits the whole community.  My first suggestion is a new and nicer feed bowl than what we have now. Here are two places this nice bowl could be had: https://tinyurl.com/big-bowl-for-bubba and   https://tinyurl.com/bowl-for-bubba    Let me paint you a picture:  standing at the gate are half a dozen extraordinarily rude ruffians – goats, I should say.  We all go into the pen at the same time and eat out of a variety of bowls.  But there is quite a scramble and, well, I really would like to have a bowl I could put my name on.  This would also be much easier to clean than the ones we have now.

Something we all like – the sheep, the goats, the cows, even the horses – is the Himalayan pink salt lick.  It has such good minerals in it and it’s just delicious.  https://tinyurl.com/salt-for-bubba

Really, Santa, the only other thing I truly want and so do all the animals, is for the walkway up to and around the barn to be re-gravelled.  It gets muddy when it rains, and that’s not good for our hooves.  I know my boss is looking into it, but we sure would love it if someone knew of a place that might donate either stone dust or filtered millings.  We’re going to need about 8 dump truck loads and that’s a lot of stone!

I’m a modest sort, as I’ve already said, but I truly would be tickled to death if someone wanted to sponsor me.  http://www.stargazingfarm.org/sponsor I don’t rightly know if I’ve had a sponsor in a while.

Dear sir, it’s been charming conversing with you and I do trust you will extend my sincere greetings to your wife and elves.

Yours respectfully,

Lt. Bubba Skinner, III

16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

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Petey

Well hello Santa!

It’s me again, Peter Martin Davidson but all my friends call me Petey.  I wrote you last year and I was going to let Carmen write, but she is blind and she said it would look neater if I did it.  So even if I’m the one you’re talking with, I’m supposed to be the cow ambassador for this year.  Oh, she said it would be ok if someone wanted to sponsor her or Brandy instead of me.

As you might know, I’m a bit of a naughty boy.  (I’m only called Peter Martin when my mom is cross with me.)  I like to jump around, and rear and buck and sometimes take out fences.  It’s because I’m a teenager.  That’s what I hear people saying anyhow.  All I know is that I’m full of beans!  I’m a Brown Swiss cow and I was rescued when my mama refused to let me drink her milk and then they said I was going to go to “Freezer Camp”.  I don’t like being cold so I didn’t think that sounded like a good idea.

Santa, I am the crazy lovingest cow ever ever.  But sometimes the volunteers have to run to open and close the gates because I love to chase them.  Some of our gates have wheels on them and that makes them go whoooosh and open and close so easily.  But some of them don’t and I hear volunteers huffing and puffing as they try to work the gates and that huffing and puffing makes me think I ought to run after them and make a game out of it.   I never hurt them.  I stop about 6 inches short and snort in their faces.   Ha ha! I say, fooled you!  They are usually not amused.  Anyhow, this is a problem that is easily solved!  I did some comparison shopping and found this very fine price for a wheel gate:  https://tinyurl.com/gate-wheels-for-petey

Next is something that is a practical gift but nonetheless important.  We cows sometimes get intestinal worms.  Oh don’t worry, it’s not gross like you think of creepy crawlies.  They are very normal for cows and other grazing animals.  But we periodically need to get medicine for them so they don’t make us sick.  I like this stuff because it tastes like alfalfa and not like medicine!  https://tinyurl.com/dewormer-for-Petey

Last of all is a Big Ask.  We cows eat a lot.  I mean, we pretty much eat all day and sometimes all night.  We get those huge round bales that weigh between 600 and 800 pounds.  How do I know this, you ask?  Because I love to play with them and toss them around with my head and I can tell you exactly how much each bale weighs.  It’s a very useful talent.  Well, someone (really,truly, it wasn’t me) managed to bust the bars on our very old hay bale holder so right now we have a sort of temporary, not so great, tied-together-with-baling twine hay bale holder.  It looks dumb and it doesn’t work very well.  Brandy likes to knock it over.   The type that works super well for us can’t be delivered, but it can be bought locally!  Yes!  At the Frederick Sheepman’s supply!  It’s so cool because as we eat the hay, the panels can be pushed in so that we don’t waste the hay (and so the goats can’t get in there and poop all over everything.  They really poop a lot, let me tell you, Santa.  Anyhow, this is where it can be ordered:  https://tinyurl.com/hay-bale-feeder-for-petey  We could pick it up because we have a very cool pickup truck!  I love pickup trucks! I know it’s super expensive, but maybe if a few of the elves got together you could pool your funds and get us one?  It would mean a lot of savings for the farm because we wouldn’t waste our hay anymore.

And, now… you guessed it!  I need a sponsor (or three).  I have unlimited sandy-tongued kisses to give to each and every person who is into cow kisses.  Here is where you can sponsor me:  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Oh Santa,  they said I’m not allowed to go to the mall so I wish you could come to the farm.  I really want to sit in your lap and have my picture taken with you.  Anyhow, kisses and hugs from your Petey boy.

Peter Martin Davidson, Carmen, and Brandy – cows at Star Gazing Farm
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

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Roger and Rudy

Santa santa, (Santa santa)!

It’s me, Roger.
(And me, Rudy!)

We are two little guinea pigs who found our way to this lovely farm.
(I like the dried carrots).
Shhh, Rudy, we have to introduce ourselves first.

Santa Claus, I’m new here. You see, I was just a wee little lad and some very bad (very bad) person put me out on the street.  I was near the library.  Thank goodness.  People who read are ever so much nicer than those who don’t. (Wait, Roger – you can read?) Shh. Rudy.  Some little children found me and brought me to their house.  The nice people advertised everywhere “Found Guinea Pig”.  But no one called.  I knew who they were, but I didn’t want to go back there so I didn’t tell the family anything. I put out the Guinea Pig Home Locating Radar and sure enough — Farmer Anne saw the post and said, “well hello Roger!  We can take you to our place.”

(Can I talk now?)
Yes, OK Rudy.

(I was rescued too, but I’m too old now to remember my story.  I forget a lot of things these days.  Roger helps me out because he’s a lot younger.  It’s important to keep young folks around you all the time!  Anyhow, then this bad thing called COVID happened and a boy came home to where I lived because he had to be safe, but he started sneezing and sniffling and getting sick.  So I had to find a new place – and here I am!)

Rudy, my story is more interesting than yours.
(Oh Roger, you always want to take the spotlight).

Anyhow, Santa, we are here today to ask you for some presents.  We really love these dried carrots. https://tinyurl.com/dried-carrots-for-roger-rudy
(I’m the one who introduced you to them, Roger).
Shh, Rudy.

Next is a very practical thing. It’s a well known fact (No it’s not, Roger!) -shhh Rudy – that guinea pigs aren’t very good at being litter trained.  So to keep our space extra extra clean, we get fresh pee pads every day.  They make us feel good.  We like to poop everywhere but we also like to be clean  https://tinyurl.com/pee-pads-for-roger-rudy
(That’s true, Roger, I’m a very clean guinea pig)
No you’re not, you’re a slob.
(Oh Roger, not in front of the children)

We had a nice carrier, but Ruth the rabbit chewed on it (it’s all her fault!) and so now we need a new one.  We really like the orange color because we are orange, too.  In case we need to travel incognito, it will provide excellent camouflage.  https://tinyurl.com/carrier-for-roger-rudy  (Roger, you’re the one who doesn’t want to be recognized.  I told you, just get sunglasses.)
Shhh, Rudy.

Well, aside from that, Santa, we love all kinds of treats.  You can decide what to send and surprise us!  There are tons of great treats at chewy.com for guinea pigs.
(I like treats more so you can send them directly to me.)

Now, Santa, we have never been sponsored before.  You can sponsor me (or me, sponsor me me me!) here:  http://www.stargazingfarm.org/sponsor.

I love writing letters.  I might write more to you during the year (Roger, don’t bother the man, he is so busy).  Thank you for reading this letter from the two of us and ho ho ho to you!

Love,

Roger and RUDY
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

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Brewster

Greetings Santa Claus!

Brewster the rooster here.  First time caller.  So glad to speak with you directly. We chickens sometimes get kind of short shrift on the attention scale.  Everyone likes the sheep, and the goats, and the cows, and the horses … but the chickens?  Who cares! It’s always “ooh look how soft and fluffy that one is,”, and “ooh, such big ears,” and “ooh, look, he’s smiling!”  Yeah, well, what about us!  We chickens aren’t fluffy (but we are soft if you’d just take the time to hang out with us).  We have super super small ears right against our heads, but there IS a very cute fluff on them.  And we not only smile, we SING all day long!  So I’m here to represent the chicken contingent and demand some attention!

Now that that’s out of the way … here’s my brief story: I was way out in the western part of the state all by myself.  I got lost.  There was no one around except squirrels and bears.  I didn’t like the bears, but the squirrels befriended me.  In fact, three of them (Larry, Curly, and Mo) have made their way here and hang out with me all day long (more about them in a bit).  Well, wouldn’t you know it! A couple found me and exclaimed, “why Brewster!  What are you doing out here all by yourself?”  I was so surprised that they knew my name, I stopped right there in my tracks and that is when they scooped me up and brought me to this farm.

Santa, most of the time we chickens can do pretty well with the cold as long as we’re out of the wind, but sometimes we need a bit of help when the temps go really low.  This heat lamp is really safe and will keep us cozy on the bad nights:  https://tinyurl.com/heat-lamp-for-brewster

This time of year the bugs are few and far between.  We really like bugs and they have great nutrition for us, and while you humans (and even your elves) might say, “ewwwww” we find them oh so tasty:  https://tinyurl.com/bugs-for-brewster

OK, now I’ve got a problem. A squirrel problem.  I mean, they’re my friends but Gallo and our four hens complain to me non-stop about them because they are eating our food.  Honestly, they have something unpleasant to say about it every day.  I’m caught between my two friend groups and it’s totally stressing me out.  But I put my brain to work and I figured out the problem:  if I can give the squirrels squirrel food then they won’t need to eat our chicken food.  This is what Larry told me they like the BEST!  https://tinyurl.com/peanuts-for-brewsters-squirrel

Finally Santa, I’ve never been sponsored.  I’m a super friendly rooster and I’ll be glad to make friends with anyone who wants to sponsor me!  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Santa, it’s been so cool chatting with you, and thanks for your time!

Brewster the rooster
Star Gazing Farm
16760  Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

PS Did you know we have an amazon wishlist?  Yes indeedie, take a look here:  https://tinyurl.com/star-gazing-farm-wish-list2020

 

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Senna

Oh my dear Mr. Claus,

They say age is just a number.  Do you agree?  I am pretty sure you are even older than me (I’m 23 – that is super old for an alpaca!).  I’d like to know your secret, though, as to how you stay so nice and fat.  I eat and eat and eat just as much as my old lady jaws can chew, but I still stay the same weight.  Some humans think being slender is fashionable but I think fat is MUCH better!

I’m sorry I’ve held up the train here with letter writing.  I don’t move as fast as I used to, so it’s taken me a while to write this all down – I know there is a line of noisy animals behind me waiting their turn so I will try to be efficient with my missive.

Santa, since the “Basement Days” when my niece and my sister and I were locked in the bottom of a dark barn, life has cheered up so much, even despite the goats.  When you get to be my age, you just shake my head at a bunch of rowdy goats running around and destroying things.  Good for them, I think, that is youth!   Sometimes they bother me but mostly they respect my elder status.

I appreciate the sunshine, the good company of Marguerite and Jean-Claude and Angel (my favorite sheep).  I look forward to my meals and I love the compliments people pay me.  And no one has said, at least yet, “wow, you look good for your age.”   I’d appreciate it if you would hold off on that sort of ‘compliment’ until I’m 30, if I make it that far.

Now Santa, this does not mean I am not vain!  Marguerite and Jean-Claude and I get monthly shots of a medicine called dectomax to help protect us from the meningeal worm, a very bad thing that can hurt alpacas.  When we get our shots, sometimes Miss Anne trims my hair.  But I think she would do a much nicer job if she had these rounded scissors:  https://tinyurl.com/scissors-for-senna  I like the round look better than the square look, wouldn’t you agree?

One of the things that happens as we alpacas age is that our immune system is not as strong as before.  We are prone to these annoying microscopic mites that chew the hair on our legs.  The good news is that there is a treatment!  I could use some more of this to spray on my legs:  https://tinyurl.com/frontline-for-senna

To boost my immune system and help me with digesting my food better, there is this wonderful herb.  I already use the “Mama Llama” herb and it is very nice and smells lovely.  This herb would help my tummy, too:  http://alpacasallnaturale.com/soothe_my_tummy.htm

It’s important for us, as we get older, to take better care of ourselves, wouldn’t you agreem Mr. Santa Claus?  Now I don’t mean to be bossy, but might I suggest that you lay off the cookies for a while?  Why don’t you bring a nice tupperware with you on your rides, box up the cookies, and take them home to your elves.  They always have looked a bit pekid to me.  I’m sure Mrs. Claus would appreciate one or two as well (you’re welcome, ma’am).

Please send a sponsorship my way this year, Santa.  I can’t remember the last time I had one.  Then again, I can’t remember what I ate for dinner last night.  Anyhow, a sponsor would be so extremely lovely.  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

In closing this letter, I wish to express my appreciation for all the years you have been bringing presents to animals.  I know the children love you, but we love you in a different way – you actually notice us and understand that animals also need some “ho ho ho” in their lives.

Your loving,

Senna the Alpaca
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

 

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Salvo

Howdy Santa,

Your faithful horse Salvo here with Bruno butting in, as usual (Howdy Santa, Bruno at your servicio, señor!). Been kind of a tough year for me.  I know I’m an older horse and all, but I was completely sound and then one day I wasn’t – I was sort of tipping to one side.  They treated me with the nastiest tasting medicine but it didn’t help (that goes to prove my point that you should never go to the doctor unless you want to get sick).  Now I just walk a little sideways but otherwise I’m doing well and I get excellent chow twice a day.
(It’s SO unfair.  He gets big bowls of sweet grain and alfalfa and I get a handful.)
Bruno – that’s because you’re fat.
(Am not, all quarterhorses are “robust”)
I’m not going to argue about this again.

Santa, it’s coming on winter and the snow season.  I have a very thick fur coat because I have Cushings disease.  I’m on medicine for that but it doesn’t taste like anything. They hide it in my feed and they think I don’t know, but I can’t taste it. Even with my thick coat and Bruno’s extra layers of adipose (adi-what?) – Bruno, you failed Biology so why don’t you let me do the talking – we do need coats when it snows and sleets and is very windy and cold.  We have one weatherbeeta that fits both of us, but the other coat we have is kind of tight so it rubs on our shoulders.  We like the weatherbeeta blankets because they have pleats in the shoulder and they are waterproof.  We both take a size 72 and I kind of like the black one here: https://tinyurl.com/blanket-for-salvo  I think I’d look very dapper and would be admitted to all the best horse clubs  (I’m the one who always talked about the horse clubs where they serve us martinis.  Why are you so bossy, Salvo?) Bruno, you are too wild to attend any of those civilized events. (HUMPH, speak for yourself, cowboy.)

Right now we have to share one horse halter.  Oh, there are others but they are old and cracked and uncomfortable nylon.  We love the ones lined with fleece because they are so comfy and when we are being groomed or having our hooves trimmed, we pretend it’s a spa day.  I like the black or the turquoise colors.  No hot pink for this boy, please!  https://tinyurl.com/comfy-halter-for-salvo

Now, let me tell you a little something about the nature of lead ropes, Santa.  You maybe are familiar with the problem of socks and ball point pens and scissors?  They just have a way of walking off on their own.  Lead ropes, especially the good ones, are just like that too.  We have them and then one day, all we have is lousy old cotton one that is unraveling.  So we could definitely use another lead rope or 3.  You can choose the color – anything goes!  https://tinyurl.com/lead-ropes-for-salvo  (Hey Santa, Salvo likes lavender) Bruno, stop!  (Don’t let him fool you, he is a pastel guy all the way).  OMG, Bruno.

Finally, of course, we will ask for a sponsor maybe for each of us so we don’t have to fight with each other about it?  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

We love being brushed and having our manes combed, so maybe a sponsor would like to do that some time.  (I like my hair braided, personally). Yeah.  Well.  Anyhow, Mr. Santa Claus, it’s been right fine to be able to communicate with you about all this today.  Sometimes a horse has just got to say what’s on his mind.  Oh and Santa, make sure you get some of those fleece lined halters for your reindeer!  (Oh I agree with that one!)

Greetings to you Santa, and to your Missus,

Salvo the horse
(and Bruno the more handsome horse)
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

Bruno

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Freckles

Mr. Santie Claus,

My name is Freckles and I’m a bunny rabbit.  I’ve had a few homes here and there, but this is my final destination: last stop, everyone get out of the train! I have a very handsome boyfriend named Luc and together we live in a 3 story condo.  Whenever we are let out to play, we destroy the bunny room.  It’s such fun!  The reason I’ve had many homes, you ask?  Well … my theory is that most people aren’t equipped to deal with a self-assertive female.  That would be me.  If I don’t like something, I make it known, usually through a good solid bite. CHOMP.  Here I’m free to be the larger than life woman I always wanted to be, and my mate Luc accepts me as I am, inasmuch as  I am not, of course, a very good housekeeper.  Then again, he is French and you know they are awfully good at la romance.

Well now, Santie, I think I speak on behalf of all rabbits here that we are interested in having an outdoor play area.  We love digging around in the dirt and eating grass. But right now there isn’t a safe spot for us.  Mr. Dave can build lots of things, and I think he would put a hole in the wall for us to an outdoor pen:  I found this really neat bunny tunnel system (with a closing door and everything).  It’s called: Zippi Tunnel.  I think we only need the simple “Zippi Tunnel Single with Hutch to Run Connection Kit”: https://tinyurl.com/tunnel-system-for-freckles  I have been saving up my treats to pay Mr. Dave (I hope he likes the little alfalfa donuts) to construct a run for us – but this tunnel is the KEY!

Now then, I will confess that in Luc’s and my rampages around the bunny room we sort of had a fight with the broom.  The broom doesn’t look so hot anymore – but that’s what is going to happen when you tangle with an assertive female rabbit like me!  Humph.  Miss Julie and also the kids on the weekends do such a nice job of cleaning our space, but that broom has, honestly, seen better days.  I found this fantastic one that even matches the color of our walls!  https://tinyurl.com/broom-for-freckles

Now, if none of these gifts sound too exciting to you, how about one for organizing!  We have three different species in our bunny room: chinchillas, guinea pigs, and then of course, moi and all my rabbit friends.  Poor Farmer Anne, she has just made do with a bunch of higgledy-piggledy food storage containers and they are always migrating all over the place.  This one is so compact, and she could divide the top one into two so that there is a space for guinea pig food, a space for chinchilla food, and a space for rabbit food! Pretty neat, eh?  https://tinyurl.com/food-storage-for-freckles  And there is space on top for our treat containers!  And who said rabbits aren’t practical!

Santie, I want you to make sure that my Luc gets extra treats this year.  He has been so good to me and is such a loving rabbit.  I don’t honestly know how he puts up with me, but I surely do love him.  Maybe you can send a sponsor his way and mine:  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

I am awfully glad that I had this little time to chat with you.  I would love to snuggle on your lap one of these days (no biting, I promise!).

Love,

Freckles xxx000
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

Freckles

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Evelyn

Gracious Santa Claus,

What an honor to have an audience with you.  I’m so pleased that you are here again this year for our humble farm  Many people in the world have suffered this year, and it has been very sad. I’m what you might call an intuitive cat and I feel the pain of others.  Fortunately no one at my farm has gotten sick with the Big Virus, although goodness knows it seems that Farmer Anne is ferrying someone or other to the vet all the time (I know because I hear her grumbling to herself about “so this is what it’s like to be a soccer mom.” )  I myself have been diagnosed with a heart murmur – rather a significant one.  I am not worried yet; I have no symptoms but I have realized that I must do a lot of self care and to thoroughly enjoy each day.

Santa, for reasons I cannot explain, all the dogs love me except for Mamie. And I quite dislike her too.  She is noisy and raucous and impolite.  She never raises her paw to speak and sometimes – this is truly unbelievable to a lady cat like me – she actually lifts her leg and pees on the legs of the other dogs.  I know she came from the puppy mill and so wasn’t taught better, but I think it is intolerable behaviour.  Thus I elect not to come into the house very often.  I have so many hiding places up in the barn with all that warm hay, and I often cuddle up with the dogs whom I love – Milo and Nicole.  I have a delightful condo on the back porch where I have a constant supply of food and water and shelter.  But I’m thinking, for those cold nights, I’d love to have this self-warming kitty cat bed.   https://tinyurl.com/warming-bed-for-evelyn   I think it looks rather posh, don’t you?

Now Santa, I have been doing my research and it appears that cats with a heart murmur do well to have a high protein diet.  I have found in the past that I love the “instinct” cat food with the raw bits.  What if you were to send me JUST the raw bits that can be sprinkled on top of my food?   Tasty! https://tinyurl.com/mixers-for-evelyn

Clearly it is not the weather right now to be worried about shade from the sun – and I never worry about this.  I am a sun worshipper and you can find photographs of me posing on top of all sorts of trucks and cars and large hay bales, and on top of the roof.  Well, in the summer time I love to use the sunsails as a hammock.   My other friends like to be beneath them and I like to be on top snoozing or just surveying my property.  I think that the turquoise goes best with my coloring and eyes, wouldn’t  you agree?   https://tinyurl.com/sunsail-for-evelyn

Santa, I can be an elusive cat sometimes.  I’m a bit reclusive but if you find me in just the right humour, I love to be petted and have poetry read to me.  Would you please send me a book-loving sponsor?  Please tell them I’m most fond of the early 19th century poets.

For now Santa, I bid you adieu and Godspeed on your journeys,

Evelyn the cat
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

Evelyn

 

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Jean Claude

Mon cher monsieur Claus,

How completely merveilleux to finally be able to write to you.  The line has been long and quite impolite.  Happily I am so tall that I could see when my number was about to be called so I could do a last minute coif.  Ah, they all claim that I am vain and spend much too much time doing ma toilette (this means something quite different in French than you Americans would think) – but I am simply a very meticulous gentleman and wish to present myself to the world in my best and most handsome manner.

Eh bien, monsieur, life is so good for me here, but I do sometimes long for a female companion.  My dear Louisa departed us last year and I had a brief but ill-fated romance with a local llama girl, all of which left me feeling quite alone and sorry for myself.  La Marguerite, the young alpaca, will gladly keep my company when it is convenient to her, but there is no, how do you say – chemistry between us.  However, we do eat together and that brings me to my first request of you: we camelids require a different kind of mineral than do the sheep or goats.  We have been doing a few zoom meetings with our fellow alpacas and llamas and they have said this particular mineral is tasty and will help our health:  https://goldenblendfeeds.com/masterplan-llama-minerals/  Hélas, they do not have an online ordering système, and so you must use the téléphone to request the package.  I believe the smaller one of 20 pounds will keep us quite well.

Monsieur,  I have thoroughly read all of the letters from my compatriots and have been completely baffled by the lack of requests for cookies.  I will say that my favorite treat is a baby carrot; however, these do not do well in the US postal service.  I also most dearly love Mrs. Pastures Cookies.  May I please find some in my stocking this year?  https://tinyurl.com/cookies-for-jc  You may know by now that I am quite savvy with le computer.  I have found a less expensive way to purchase these cookies, but they are, lamentably, out of stock.  I put the reference here for your convenience should they magically reappear on the shelves:  https://tinyurl.com/cheaper-cookies-for-jc

Monsieur Claus,  I have been told that my eyebrows need some attention so I must excuse myself to attend to the miroir.  But please know that I am delighted and content to have had this time with you, and I trust that you shall find me a suitable sponsor who can completely appreciate my elegance and continental charm.  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

A bientôt et grosse bises,

Jean-Claude
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

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falkor
Hail earthlings of the North Pole,

I am Falkor the Flying Goat.  I’m a newcomer to this farm, and I’m going to tell you this quite straight:  the goats here have become fat, lazy, complacent.  I have been shocked at the lack of destruction, the gates that still work, the shrubbery that has not been eaten, and most of all, the cars that have not been explored.  I’ve been working non stop on getting their motivation back up.  I’ll grant you, I’m still under a year old so I have all that young energy, but I think I’ve got at least Yuki and Vinnie with the program. Tony had made a very lame attempt at eating the pine tree planted in front of the house, but I dove right in there and stripped the bark off.  It was delicious.  Yuki has made a habit of trying to remove people’s license plates with her horns, but I say, just jump right onto the driver’s seat!  Explore!  Chew! People (except the portapotty cleaning guy who growled at me – and his truck was fun – it was so high I literally had to fly) seem to think it’s funny.  I just can’t  help myself – I love being in vehicles. Probably because the lady who saved me from being “culled” used to drive me around with her. We had such fun!

Well, Santa, you may have noticed that my twinkletoes are dainty and well kept.  But Oh My Goodness, you should see the boots of all the humans around here.  These bipeds just step in everything.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  Mud, poop, old straw, snow (with who knows WHAT is under it).  They really are clods.  And THEN they go into the house.  I always wipe my hooves before going into the house, but even so it doesn’t matter because I usually fly around the room playing hide and seek with the clodhopper humans.  But I digress.  Santa, these humans need help and now. Their boot scraper is falling apart.  They need a really heavy duty one like this:  https://tinyurl.com/boot-scrapers-for-falkor  And speaking of feet, you should see how they slip and slide around on the snow.  It’s pathetic. They could use another pair or two of these to help give them grip in the bad weather (Size LARGE):  https://tinyurl.com/yak-tracks-for-falkor

Why am I asking for presents for humans?  It’s not out of altruism, believe me (how’s about that for an SAT word?)!  I need them fleet footed so they can run and play with me!  But OK, here is something that I would really like for myself: my very own collar.  But not just ANY collar.  I am named after a dragon (that’s why I know how to fly) so I’d like a size medium, Fire Breathing Dragon collar:  https://tinyurl.com/dragon-collar-for-falkor  I would be a total babe-magnet in that collar! The only downside is that then, when I go into the house and fly around, it will be easier for humans to catch me.  Sigh, the price of beauty.

Santa, please send me a sponsor, preferably one who doesn’t have big clunky feet and will run around with me.  But if they have big feet, at least make sure they have a cool car I can get in.  Thank you!  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Yours always,

Falkor
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

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Herman and Pippa

Greetings and Salutations Mister Santa Claus!

We are Herman and Pippa, the sheep, the very American sheep.  (Yes, we are so American, we know all the slango very good).  We came from a farm where we were, how do you say, farmed for our wool.  It was not bad life. Eat grass, grow wool, get shaved.  No one ever suspected our true identities.  Was good.  Then bad day come – we learn we will go to butcher.  Butcher for us in old country is very bad word for sheep.  We think, this not fair!   We have waited for assignment for 14 years and still all we do is eat grass, grow wool, get shaved.  Not bad, but we had the top notch training – it is absurd.  We go to butcher when we are so smart?  No no.

Mister Santa Claus, we had very tough decision to make.  (I said never mind, Herman, assignment might be worse than butcher, maybe we give up.  But he said we must plan escape.).  We had to make, how do you call it, goo goo eyes at woman shearer who come to our farm.  She said, “oh no, Herman and Pippa, not the butcher!  You must come live with me.”  It worked.  We are very clever sheep, not?  (Herman, you made goo goo eyes, I just watched with disgust. Men are all the same! Pfui!)

I was very thin before.

We were very very thin.  It was simple matter to get sympathy.  Ha!  Easy job.  And not bad landing place.  Here we ate and ate and grew robust and bold and then one day … we said to farmer lady at the dinner time out of habit, “we are starving, starving, please help us Mister” and she looked at us with twinkle in eye and said this – I must quote directly because of big shock to me:  “Herman and Pippa, first of all, I am NOT a “mister” and second of all, you are not starving.  You are fat.  Moreover, I was trained as a linguist.  You no more speak American “slang” English than I have two noses.  I know your story – did you not realize I was your handler all along?”

This gave us big startle. We thought we were important sheeper cell.  And now what?  Big anticlimax.  We feel depressed and we are fat and sit around smoking cigars all day.  Finally the other day I dared to ask: “What about important mission?  Our training? Our deep intelligence?”  She said, “Herman and Pippa, your mission has now started, and it is not what you expected.  Here you must be yourselves.  You no longer need to hide who you are. You will not be leaping off of buildings.  You will not need encrypted technology or digital implants in your hooves.   Your mission is to change the hearts of humans.  That is far more difficult than leaping off a building or making a secret call from the back of the coat closet.”

We were silent for a moment and then did the old country dance and ate and drank more.  And that is our story, but Mister Santa Claus, I must now engage in American tradition to ask you for stuff for Christmas.  Here it goes:

First, we are older sheep and sometimes need a boost.  The vitamin B helps us when we are feeling a bit low energy.  Also good for tummy:  https://tinyurl.com/vit-b-for-herman-pippa

If you visit farm, you will see buckets are in bad shape.  We have white and black, and they are ok but colored buckets, pretty bright colors – used so much they are not nice.  We like the more bright buckets for our food, please: https://tinyurl.com/color-buckets-for-herman-pippa

And we like sponsors.  We need them!  We are so friendly, and of course it is our MISSION to teach people to love the sheep, to have long, deep conversations about meaning of life.  We are special sheep.  Please send sponsors  (we teach them our american slango!). Yes, ok Pippa.    http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

So much love and big hugs to you Mister Santa Claus,

Herman and Pippa
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

 

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Milo

Yes?  Did you call my name?  What for?  You said your name is Santa?  Hold on …. you’re not a regular at the farm, I think I’m going to have to bark at you. You want to what?  Give me something?  No man, I don’t need anything, now hurry on past. Seriously?  You’re going to hang around until I talk with you?  Now, see, this is why my job is so hard.  Constant interruptions.  Look at my face – is this not a serious face?  You bet it is.  I’m a serious dog with a serious  job and you want to talk with me about cookies and stockings?  Oh, you don’t?  All right then, look if we can negotiate something about this whole reindeer arriving in the middle of the night business and stop the UPS trucks – they are freakin non stop and I can hardly keep up – I might have to hire a deputy dog (don’t even talk with me about Nicole, she takes naps all day long).

So here’s the deal Santa.  Our vet came out a few weeks ago and did a full exam on everyone.  Jeez, was the mood bad at the farm that day.  Not that he’s not a nice guy, but all the poking and prodding – it’s embarrassing. Anyhow, he said even though I’m young and athletic (yesssss!) I should be taking the Dasuquin supplement every day for my joints.  So now we’re all on it: me, Nicole, Sam, and Jethro.  Mamie gets a pass.  She’s so spoiled, it’s a good thing she’s cute.  And Jethro has gotten SO FAT that now he needs the big dog stuff too.  We each need one pill a night so we go through it pretty fast.  https://tinyurl.com/dasuquin-for-milo

Here is something else that is business-related.  Some of my favorite people were here on the weekend doing all that hard work. I try to stay away – no way am I shoveling what those cows put out hour after hour.  Anyhow, I’m too busy chasing the UPS trucks.  But I heard my people saying “why can we never find a good pitchfork?  The pitchforks around here seem to just disappear.”  So I want to buy them one for Christmas.  Can you please put a note on it “love from Milo, your secret admirerer?”  https://tinyurl.com/pitchfork-for-milo

Look, I can’t promise a sponsor anything except a fleeting glance of my streaking through the field – unless they’re willing to come after dark and then I take appointments for belly rubs.  But sponsors are good – they give good energy and I’ve recently been getting into that whole Reiki thing so I need lots of energy.  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Are we good?  Ok, you can see yourself out Santa.

Signed,

Milo
Anatolian Shepherd In Charge
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

Milo

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Carmen

My dear sweet Santa Claus,

I have been waiting and waiting in the line to write you.  It seems that the North Pole Mail System (NPMS) is very slow this year though, so there are many delays.  I am Carmen, and I am a blind cow.  In a previous letter to you Petey the Brown Swiss steer made up a story about how he needed to write on my behalf.  Petey is a great fan of fiction, I’m afraid.  I did not and do not need his help and he most certainly did not speak for me!  I have found my own resource to help me write this to you and so here I am!

Dear Santa, I know that many animals have been asking you for very specific things.  But you see, I am an inveterate shopper.  Yes, I need to smell and feel and taste the things that I might buy.  I go through the entire store, and then I might make a short list, but then I have to smell and feel and taste those and compare them all, and then reconsider several times.  These shopping decisions take a great deal of discernment.  Sigh, Brandy told me that she will never shop with me again.  But one must be awfully sure of one’s purchase, don’t you think, Santa?  For this reason I’d very much like to ask you for a gift card from one of my favorite stores: Jeffers.  https://tinyurl.com/gift-card-for-carmen  You can choose any amount and really – I do need the time to browse their store so that I can get exactly what I like and need!  Isn’t Mrs. Claus the same?  I wonder what the shops are like on the North Pole…

Now my sweet Santa Claus, you may know that we have an army of beautiful people who come every day to pick up after us animals. We are every so lucky!  But sometimes I hear some little dramas going on.  Just quietly, sometimes if a volunteer takes the best wheelbarrow (the one with two wheels), then the other volunteers start to complain and try at the first opportunity to steal that wheelbarrow.  It’s rather stressful.  I am a Libra and I prefer peace and balance.  Perhaps you can send us another 2-wheeled wheelbarrow so there is no more strife here?  https://tinyurl.com/wheelbarrow-for-carmen  I do so want every one to get along.

I believe that a sponsor would do me very well.  Perhaps they could come and bring me my morning tea, and then give me a nice brushing and so on.  Mehitabel has a lady who comes all the time to brush her and offer her treats.  I feel awfully jealous of her, I must confess.  Then again, I’m rather glad I’m not a donkey, if you do know what I mean!  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

I’m so pleased that my turn finally came up to write to you, and you must utterly disregard anything that Petey has said to you.  He is a headstrong youth with no common sense whatsoever.  I do rather like him, though ….

With all my kindest regards,

Carmen the Hereford cow
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

Carmen and Petey

 

 

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JethroHello there Santa,

My name is Jefro (it’s really Jethro but I just had my teef done yesterday. They even pulled two of them!).  I’m an old dog.  Why, I’m so old I don’t even know my age.  Does that happen to you sometimes?  I mean, you’re old too and I’ll bet you even forget your birfday from time to time. Oh wow, when I was adopted at this farm I was kind of a mess.  I had been living on the lam in Kentucky and had lost most of my hair and most of my weight and I was a sad sight for sorry eyes.  But I’ve made up for lost time.  Now I have to go on a diet.  The very fought.

Jethro - before

Jethro – before

You can see a picture of me how I looked originally.  It’s a little embarrassing, but I’m proud at my quick recovery!

Today my mouf hurts a little so I’m sipping chicken brof.  It’s delicious. My mama cooks for me every day and it’s so wonderful and tasty to eat her home-cooked stews.  But sometimes I think just a bit of brof poured over my kibble would be good too.  Especially since my kindly vet said I need to lose some weight.  I argued wif him but it did no good.  Never argue wif your vet, folks.  This brof is good because it has no salt:   https://tinyurl.com/broth-for-Jethro

I also need to brush my teef a few times a week.  I guess I’ll need a toofbrush, then!  https://tinyurl.com/toothbrush-for-jethro

Santa, you and I know I really like to sleep on the sofa.  But when Sam gets up there, there is no room left.  I’d like to ask you for my own sofa but mama said positively no more furniture in this house.  Period.  (she actually said, “period”).   So I think this bed would be so good for my old bones: https://tinyurl.com/bed-for-jethro

I’m a good dog, Santa, and I’m sorry I bark at the llama and the pigs all the time.  They just look like they need to be barked at.  Especially the llama.  He is so self-satisfied.  He needs to eat some humble pie, Santa.  Let him wander the Kentucky woods for a few years and see how that does him.  Never mind, I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.

Well now my teef feel better just talking with you here, Santa.  Last thing on my list is a sponsor!  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Santa, does anyone ever sponsor your reindeer?  I was just wondering.  Fank you for being there for us dogs (and llamas…).

Respectfully yours,

Jefro (Jethro) the Catahoula Leopard Dog

P.S.  Did you know I’m on the FRONT of the 2021 calendar?  You can order it here!  http://www.stargazingfarm.org/2021-star-gazing-farm-wall-calendar/

My address is:
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

Jethro

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fatty

Santa, Santa, Santa, hummmm, humm de humm humm humm (that’s supposed to be “we wish you a merry Christmas”)!

As you know, dear Santa, I am a singing cat.  I just love to sing all day long.  If you pick me up I will turn up the volume.  If you give me food, I can do my special trick:  I can sing and eat at the same time.  I’m a cat ventriloquist.  I was a barn cat before, “Mice B Gone” was the name of my company, but I sold the firm before I moved here so that I could enjoy my retirement. I still like looking at rodents but, yawn, I am more interested now in the creative life.  Some might say I came here under false pretenses, but this is the problem:  people just don’t listen.  They jabber on and on in that intolerable human speak and think that they know better than us beasts.  I told them quite clearly when I arrived that I wished to be able to go indoors and outdoors, to sleep on soft chairs and softer laps, to enjoy the sun, and to watch the world go by – including rodents.  Santa, I know that you listen to the animals.  Could you please do something so that the humans learn to listen better to us, too?

I do love the sun, but this time of year it’s a bit chilly out there.  What about a window seat for a melodious cat, Santa?  We get lovely western sun in the afternoon and I would make quite an excellent window ornament sitting there in  my hammock:  https://tinyurl.com/window-seat-for-fatty

Now, Santa, I need to talk about a bit of a sensitive subject.  You probably know that as we age, we don’t always pay attention to the details of our grooming as much as we ought.  I find that I want to spend all my time composing music and the thought of doing those endless hours of licking my fur just makes me want to yawn with exhaustion.  But there is a downside to the artistic life:  I am a long-haired cat and I get these tangles in my fur.  The good news is that my audience is willing to do this for me, as I sing.  How marvelous.  Here is an excellent comb – it looks scary but it is perfect for a hirsute fellow like myself:  https://tinyurl.com/comb-for-fatty

Now, I’m a bit of a big boy, but I do love my treats – a few treats a day can’t hurt, right?  And I’ll be sure to share with the other felines.  Except Evelyn.  She hates me and hisses at me (she’s just jealous because I’m so handsome) – so she will have to ask for her own cotton pickin’ treats.  These look SO yummy and the price is right:  https://tinyurl.com/treats-for-fatty

I will close this letter with a familiar request – I know that there is much competition amongst the animals right now for sponsors, but may I just say that I am a truly superior cat to sponsor.  I do not run and hide when people come; in fact, you can always find me on the street corner singing my songs to the passersby and I welcome the attention!  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Thank you so very much and now sing along with me!

We wish you a merry Christmas

Your friend,

Fatty the Cat
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

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May May

Santa Santa,

My name is May May.  I’m a good goose.  Santa, I’ve reformed this year. I was always going around the farm with the Bad Geese, bothering people when they drove up and making them afraid to get out of their cars.  I don’t know why I did it. I guess I just wanted the guy geese to like me.  But I know what it’s like to be frightened.  When I was young, I was swimming on a pond and a snapping turtle bit off half my left foot.  I was very lucky to be saved by a lady who nursed me back to health.

This year I made two new friends and they are much nicer friends:  Mother Goose and Wall-E.  They are kind and courteous to me and when the Bad Geese come into the feeding area, we go around the back together.  We have our own pool and hidey spots.  They don’t stay long because they have this ceaseless need to be out on the farm bothering someone.  I’ve even seen them try to bite Milo the dog.  No one messes with Milo.  They are a disgrace to the goose race.

Santa Santa, it is after Christmas already, but I heard that  Santa Santa Jr. was helping you out with post-season deliveries, so I’m hoping I can still ask for a few things.  What I want to ask for are important things for a goose.  Of course, you know I’m in love with the water.  But in winter things can get frozen.  I don’t mind swimming in freezing water, but if the water hydrant freezes up then things get really dicey.  We like to be able to remove our hoses when we’re done with them so they don’t facilitate the freezing of the hydrant (I’ll bet you didn’t know that geese had such a good vocabulary).  These work well:  https://tinyurl.com/hose-quick-release-for-maymay  I’m asking for the set of four because we have more than one hydrant and sometimes these things have a way of walking off on their own.  Another hose thing!   These splitters are good.  https://tinyurl.com/hose-splitter-for-maymay  We can use it to hook up a short hose and a long hose and that way more than one person can be using the hydrant at one time and it’s just very versatile.  There’s nothing worse than waiting your turn to use the hose.

I know I may sound like a broken record, but we are back to those hose subject again.  I have done some extensive research in my free time, and discovered that some of our hoses are not drinking-water safe.  Now, Santa Santa, I’m sure that they were not thinking of geese but of the ever-so-more-important humans when they did the studies, but — still and all, we animals drink from water put through those hoses.  So we need them to be drinking water safe!  Here is a short one:  https://tinyurl.com/short-hose-for-maymay and here is a longer one:  https://tinyurl.com/longer-hose-for-maymay

That is all, Santa Santa.  Just take care of our water and I am a happy girl!  Oh – a sponsor would be nice, though.  I love sponsors!  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Santa Santa, if there are geese up at the north pole, please make sure they have plenty of corn to eat and fresh water to drink.  Thank you thank you,

Your goose girl, May May
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

May May

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Tony

Hiya Mr. Claus,

Howya been doin this year? Yeah, I know you’re real busy and those masks must get hot over your big beard.  I have a beard, but if anyone puts a mask on me I just eat it, ya know?

Hey Santa, I have such good buddies here, I wanna get them some presents.  Can you help me with that?  You can see I’m a lovin kind of a guy and I don’t need nothin for myself.  So here goes:

My buds Leo and Ernie are Boer goats.  Boy oh boy, those Boer goats have problems with their feet all the darn time.  The farmer lady is out there at least once a week trimmin and fussin and puttin on medicine.  It really helps them, but dontcha know, they’ve used up almost all of their medicine, so they could use more.  What’s that?  Nah, this ain’t contraband, perfectly legal, sold over the counter.  I know, I know, I have a sketchy past but scout’s honor, this is cool.  You can ask anyone here.  https://tinyurl.com/foot-meds-for-tony

Now, you might not know this Mr. Claus, cause I’m not sure if reindeer need this, but for sure goats need copper for their health.  Sheep don’t, ya see, just us goats. So there is this thing called a bolus.  It’s like a big old capsule that the farmer lady has to shove down our throats while we try to step on her feet and head butt her.  It’s good cause once it’s done we get treats.  Anyhow, we kinda need these boluses for all us goats – 4grams, just the 12 count cause we only need it 1-2 times a year:  https://tinyurl.com/copasure-for-tony

Ok then, Mr. Claus, I got stuff to do today, but don’t forget to send us goats sponsors.  We are so great to sponsor, dontcha know!  We follow people around and eat their stuff and get into their cars and then they take videos and show it to all their friends. And a good time is had by all!  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

See ya later Mr. Claus,

Tony Tones the Goat
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

Tony

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Jenny

Hello Santa Claus,

It’s Jenny here.  You know me, don’t you?  I’ve been around a long time now. I’ll have my 16th birthday next year if by God I make it till then.  You never know when you’re old, now do you Santa?  Santa, do you just look old or are you sort of ageless?  I’ve always wondered.

Well now, I’ve been enjoying my retirement at this farm for many a year now.  I love seeing the youngsters come in and teaching them a thing or two.  Right now I have my own quarters with Rhoda, a retired sheep (not quite as old as I am) and Herbie, who is still just a baby but he is so cute.  He has leg problems and he is waiting for his wheels so he can get around ok on the farm.  I have nice, soft bedding and I wear two coats when it’s really cold because us old ladies don’t carry a lot of fat on us.

Santa, I have arthritis and so I get medicine every night for it.  They hide it in a fig newton.   I pretend not to notice, because I don’t want to hurt their pride (they think they’re so clever!) and also because I really like those fig newtons.  Maybe you could bring me a few fig newtons just for treats (without the pills)?  I like regular fig newtons.  I don’t like strawberry or blueberry, and I don’t like the low fat (heavens to Betsy, no!) and I also don’t care for the wheat, or those cheap knockoff no-name brands.  Santa, I’m a girl of tradition and I like those plain, regular fig newtons that kids have been eating since even before Farmer Anne was born (and that is a LONG time ago hee hee).

Now in winter time, we have a special heat lamp that keeps us cozy.  Sometimes SOMEONE knocks it with their hand and then the bulb might go out, or sometimes it has just had it with being a heat lamp and it needs to be replaced.  So I think we should have an extra one on hand just in case it’s snowing and cold and the roads aren’t passable and all of a sudden there is no heat lamp and we’re all freezing and OH NO! Sorry, I get a bit anxious sometimes. We use the 250 watt red heat lamp bulbs.    https://tinyurl.com/red-heat-lamp-bulbs-for-jenny

Now, some of our heat lamps are set up a bit high.   I hear Farmer Anne say bad words when she cannot reach them (“just one more inch dagnabit”, she says – or something like that).  We used to have step stools but they have disappeared, along with all our ball point pens and scissors and lead ropes.  This is a very reasonably priced one and would hold up well in our barns:  https://tinyurl.com/step-stool-for-jenny

Just by the by, I really love massages on my back and neck. They make me feel so good!  Perhaps you can refer me to a good masseuse?

Santa, I have been on this earth a long time for a goat. I hope to have more time to enjoy myself, sit in the sun, chew my cud, eat fig newtons, and meet little children.  I would be overjoyed if a little child would sponsor me and then come to visit me.  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Thank you for working overtime this year, Santa!

Love,

Jenny the Goat
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

PS  I love you, Santa!

Jenny

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rotkäppchen

Hallo hallo, happy new year, everybody!  Especially you, Santa (do you celebrate New Year’s?)

My name is Rotkäppchen and I am a little red hen.  Rotkäppchen means “Little Red Riding Hood” in German.  I am new to the farm, and was placed with the Front Yard Chicken Gang which is run by the Rhode Island Red roosters Gallo and Brewster.  They thought since I was also a RI Red that I’d like to be there — he!! no!  What a dump they live in and they have no sense of humor.  And Mein Gott, they are greedy and hang around the feeder all day waiting for the girls to go by so they can harass them.   The killing moment was when Gallo had the nerve to call me “shorty”.  Seriously?  That’s not my scene.   So I emigrated to the back to form my own chicken gang.  That’s just the kind of bird that I am.  My gang is called the Old Folks Chicken Gang and our members so far are: Buster (my boyfriend, a rooster of dubious heritage, my Man!), Herbie the sheep, Jenny the old goat, and Rhoda the old sheep.  Mr. Dave built me my very own roost in the infirmary barn and that is, for now, command central for our gang.  I don’t know why, but some people have trouble pronouncing my name, so you can just call me Rot-K (pronounced “Rote Kay”).

I have a very nice private feeder, but I could honestly use a waterer that can be hung on the wall.  This way I do not have to jump down just when I am thirsty in the middle of the night.  This is a good one:  https://tinyurl.com/waterer-for-rotk

Santa, I could also use some bugs. This time of year the bugs go to ground and it’s hard to find them – but we chickens love our bugs!  Imagine your life without chocolate chip cookies.  Can you think how awful that would be?  Well, that is a chicken’s life in winter.  So bugs it must be (they are out of stock but they’ll get more in soon)!  https://tinyurl.com/bugs-for-rotk

Santa, I would love a sponsor, too.  I will introduce them to all my friends and they can hang out with us in our very, very cozy little barn.  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

I know it’s after Christmas, but my informants told me that you are still on the move, so that’s why I wrote to you today.  Peace, Santa.

Rotkäppchen the little red hen
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

rotkäppchen

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Dee Dee

What in cotton pickin’ tarnation is this hooey?  You let the old lady go last?

Dear Santa, chopped liver here at your service.  Yes yes my name is Dee Dee but I am so hopping mad I can hardly stand on all four hooves.  You’re probably already in the Bahamas relaxing after riding in your sleigh too many hours (you can get hemorrhoids sitting in that old thing for too long. You haven’t updated it since I can remember and that’s a long time). So I get to write you LAST and this will go into your vacation auto-response inbox, and I’ll have to wait until Valentine’s day for a response which will also be from some confounded computer (do real people even work anymore?) and I’ll have to make a phone call and you know I hate phone calls, Santa.

Dagnabbit, are you listening to me or not?  I know you’re not in the Bahamas.  What I know is that you can’t fit into your swim suit, now tell the truth.  You think it’s all fine and good to eat all those cookies but look what it does to you.  We old ladies have a way of knowing these things.

Lookie here, Santa, get off your duff and get back into that bum-crushing sleigh and come over to our farm.  We’re not done yet.  The old lady hasn’t had her chance and by God, when you’re as old as I am (not too far from 50, I reckon) you get to boss people around.  So get to it.  I want you to take a really good look at my coat.  Blue, you say?  How observant.  I’m supposin’ you don’t see the frayed straps and the mud and the butt cover that is slowly making its way off the velcro.  You’re just nodding.  You don’t get it do you?  I need a doggoned new coat.  I wear size 48″ and I need something where the neck isn’t too wide because I’m a donkey and we don’t have those ridiculous big chests that horses do (show offs, they all are).  And NO, I don’t want pink.  I want another blue blanket.  I just do.  https://tinyurl.com/coat-for-deedee

I really have most of what I need, Santa,  I have good food, grooming tools, and friends. I know that the farm has other needs that (honest to goodness) don’t really concern me, but I’ll just let you know we have a wishlist here:  http://www.stargazingfarm.org/how-to-help/wishlist/

Now, keep writing this down.  I have almost no teeth.  That means I need to see the dentist to check on the few that I do have.  If you can send me a sponsor, that will pay for my dentist’s visit.  I know you probably think I don’t like that, but this dentist is sweet and nice and whispers in my ear as she works.  I’m not beyond taking a quiet compliment now and again.  http://stargazingfarm.org/sponsor

Now Santa, go get your elves out of bed (I’ll bet you let them party all night, didn’t you?) and get moving.  This is the last letter to you for 2020 but don’t you worry, we’ll be thinking about you all year long!

Yours curmudgeonly,

Dee Dee Donkey
Star Gazing Farm
16760 Whites Store Road
Boyds, MD 20841

 

Dee Dee

Dee Dee

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We want to thank you for helping our animals have the best holiday season ever!  They are already using their gifts (including the goats who love the cardboard boxes).

We are so heartened by how many animal lovers there are out there who want to lend a hand to rescued farm animals.  Every positive action you take for animals counteracts the many bad things animals have to endure.  Please keep keeping on!

Farmer Anne and the crew at Star Gazing Farm